You mentioned how being loved could be one of the guest markers of self-actualization. I understand this sentiment completely, as humans love, acceptance and validation are perhaps our most basic and also beautiful drives.

The reason why I think I don't put a very high priority therehere is... Yes - I have been hurt, and that's made me cynical for some time - several times actually - so after that, placing parts of my happiness in someone else's hands (something that again - is extremely human, pure and human)pure) has been difficult.

However, after a lot of work, the cynicism subsided, and my more real views - the ones closer to my baseline "non-hurt" personality started to reemerge.

The risk, as you know, is waysis that many people want to take advantage of you. And there are certain personality types who really use other people's love to manipulate them.
Of coursemcourse, as you mentioned before, we all take advantage of each other to some extent or another. There is something beautiful actually in the trust that you do something for someone and they appreciate it and may want to reciprocate tat backthat. However, people who assume this more productive dynamic can bbe rare iin many settings and even i omin some cases somand some types fof entire countries. Also, your chancesofbeingoveddimensioncanberandomthe accidentofbirthskincolorsexualitynationalityetcItformfcapitainsom respects the basicfact lifeisthatgd things happento attractiveyoungwhiterichextrovertedstraight mostlyales Not everyoneis highonlloftheabovdimensionssothenumbersingameinsomecasbecomes highlyunrealistic Thismercenaryview lovabilitybequestin whattruelovetranscendsthoseore superficial dimensions AgainI dontwanttocynical butdueto factthathavebeenextremelylowonsomethesedimensionhavecometothe realizationthatnotbelovedperfelyok ItperfectktonotbecaredaboutSounds scaryinthe beginningbutonefindsenormousfreedomterrainthis viewopensImcertainly notcomplainingabletomakethemostmycardsivebeendealthavelotluckierthanothersforsure Howevernew sinister sidenottobelowonesomedimensionst Discrimination Oftennetbeinglovedproblem atallOftenfr groupsnotsystematically abusedsurvival muchhigherpriorityManycases eventhemer possibilityo notbehatedbyeveryoneout questionthing likedno beinglovejustluxuryproblemswhitefolk